They might be appalled by sexuality with them and punish them by proxy for their abuser’s behavior. If that occurred, they may shy away from relationships with men in general, particularly older men.Īlternatively, the opposite might be true: people often repeat unhealthy relationship patterns in the hope of retroactively “fixing” a negative relationship from their past.īasically, they do the same thing over and over and hope that they’ll one day have the positive outcome they were looking for.Īs a result, some people are both attracted to and repulsed by men who remind them of their fathers. Of course, a darker issue may be at hand here, and that’s if people were sexually abused by their father or stepfather. Regardless of his sexual gender(s) of choice, he’ll likely have difficulty with real intimacy, and will either keep up emotional barriers, or find himself dealing with issues like erectile dysfunction because of his upbringing.
In fact, this can cause significant damage to a young man’s psyche if he grew up thinking of sexual activity as shameful. This can also happen to men whose fathers were very puritanical when it came to sex.
She might push away any and all potential sexual partners as a means of protecting herself from those negative emotions.Īlternatively, she may choose same-sex relationships because they seem slightly less shameful to her. One reason why some people might shy away from sexual relationships is because deep down, they don’t want to disappoint daddy.Ī young woman whose father always treated her as “his little girl,” and promoted sexual “purity” as a hallmark of good character might feel intense guilt when it comes to sexual activity of any kind.Īs a result, she might have difficulty enjoying sex, perpetually seeing it as shameful an act that causes intense feelings of guilt. People who are sexually shut down because of negative paternal experiences. When it comes to romantic relationships, age really is just a number, and people can have rewarding partnerships with those who are significantly older or younger than they are. If you’re comfortable with this kind of dynamic, and they are as well, then that’s absolutely okay. Do they make you feel safe? Are they providing you with stability, resources, and guidance that you lacked when you were younger? Take some time to look at your dating history, and see if the men you’ve dated have reminded you of your father in various ways.Īlternatively, if you grew up without a father, be honest with yourself about why it is you’re drawn to older guys. Flirtation with all kinds of men, even in front of their partner.Low self-esteem, and enjoys the attention they get from older men.Have a tendency to feel anxious or insecure (which is counteracted by an older male presence).Find men the same age/younger annoying or uninteresting.
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